Not quitting my journey...

...but I have decided not to continue with this blog.

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Day 12

Today, day 12, is Hod in Gevurah, Splendor or Glory in Justice or Discernment, the left side of our solar plexus and the left shoulder.

And the first thing I want to do is apologize for getting this out so late that the day is almost over. And the second thing to share is that, when I looked on the internet at posts that others have done, Rabbi Steve Folberg, of "omerblog", said the same thing on this day last year.

Fascinating how, when we are on just the left side of the tree, we seem to be missing some component of energy. If that's happening to you today, be gentle with yourself. Maybe you're not even getting to today's reading today. It's OK. Part of our journey to The Promised Land is learning to be OK with what is – in all its varieties of manifestation.

May you know the Blessing of each and every moment and each and every encounter.

Day 11

Today, day 11, is Netzach in Gevurah, Endurance or Persistence in Strength or Discipline, the right side of our solar plexus and the left shoulder. Today we focus on our ability to stick to something over the long haul, to persist in a plan that we have made.

Today is really about our Life. Do we live it from a place of deep, continuous God-perspective or is it merely an accumulation of days, one that follows the other with no intention or continuity. Or, maybe it changes over time, and the appropriate question is in what phase am I at this moment.

May you have the wisdom of greater perspective in order to appreciate the current rung of your journey.

DAY 9

Today is Gevurah in Gevurah, Justice in Justice, a double container for emotional energy. I wonder what that will look like, feel like, with the form to judge, but not the energy. It brings to mind the notion that "what we resist, persists". This might be a great day to notice where we are judging – pre-judging, even prejudiced – before we have all the data, before we pay attention to the specifics around the particular incident or person. Or how often do we rush to judgment about ourselves, being defensive as we take someone else's comments too personally.

May you experience deeper levels of your own feelings and integrity today.

DAY 5

Day 5:

Oh, how time flies when you're having fun…This is 'hard' work, going through the desert. Don't get me wrong; it's doable and meaningful. But it brings up a lot for me(/us) to look at. Then again, that's why we created this journey – to look at, to examine, to experience, to witness and notice. Yet, somehow, it doesn't seem any different than when I was enslaved. Here I am, counting the days, knowing that this is Hod in Chesed, Glory in Loving Kindness, yet it doesn't feel any different than when I was in Mitzrayim. I wonder if this is just a gimmick to give me something different to focus on. Or maybe, once again, I'm not doing it 'right'. And/or maybe I just need a good night's sleep. I remember being excited when I left Mitzrayim, suddenly having newfound freedom and energy. And, the truth is, with Netzach in Chesed  yesterday, I think I had too much energy, and not enough 'container'. I tried to be subdued and it didn't fit – this would have been a great day to walk my friend's dog, to spend some of that physical energy and emotional energy, rather than see the dentist. Today, I look forward to using the physical container of Hod to balance out the emotional energy of Chesed.

My optimism has returned…Time for a new day...

DAY 2

It is now Sunday night: day 2. That means a day of Gevurah in Chesed; the left shoulder and the right shoulder; Strength or Justice in Loving Kindness. I look forward to this day, prepared to notice all the ways I find lots of Loving Kindness energy to offer my world – and to notice the ways I feel reluctant to choose Loving Kindness as my response to the moment. That's the question I ponder today: when is my natural response to a situation less than 'Loving Kindness'? And does there seem to be a reason behind that response?

MAYBE I'M NOT READY...

I think I've been making this journey every year since 1985. And it has always been easy to set my intention(s). Maybe 'easy' isn't quite the right word, but certainly not difficult. Yet, this year feels particularly uneasy – and I think it's because I'm more visible due to this blog. I guess that sets the stage for my intentions for this year's journey: to be willing to be seen and willing to be heard; to be willing to be more authentic and to be willing to risk at deeper level of vulnerability. For me, it's also a willingness to be out there and not 'perfect'; that is, not 'perfect' by my standards. Wow; I guess I'm now ready to leave 'Egypt', since I now know where I'm headed. Thanks for joining me on this journey.

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